Dexter's desk

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 04:18:08 GMT

Going to school and taking care of a kid is time consuming. Not much time for the internet. Between semesters right now.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 04:55:34 GMT

I posted this in another's journal. I don't know them, so I'll not be so forward as to mention them here. Just know I wrote it in response to their general internet inquiry.
Forgive my long post. I ponder this kind of stuff once in a while.
I don’t think the death penalty is necessary.
My first thought when someone gets the death penalty is “I hope they did it.”
I lived in Gainesville during Danny Rolling’s killing spree. This town was in a panic over that. Edward Humphrey was the number one suspect. Except he didn’t do it. That dude went through hell. Danny Rolling is supposedly the one who did it. Fine, kill him, but I hope he did it. Someone did it. This is the kind of stuff we were reading in the local paper. It sucked.
“Christa Hoyt, 18, was next and likely because she was alone, Rolling took his time with her, leaving police with a terrifically gruesome crime scene. When they entered Hoyt's apartment on August 27 they found the young woman seated and slumped over at the edge of her bed with her torso slit open from chest to crotch. The Santa Fe Community College student's head was cut off and placed in full view on a nearby bookshelf. Rolling had also cut off her nipples and laid them out on the bed next to the body.”
http://www.geocities.com/verbal_plainfield/q-z/rolling.html
I think that if you can get the right person, this is a good candidate for the death penalty. That’s a big if.

The bad thing about the death penalty is that you are being ‘infected by the killing disease.’ I don’t know how else to say it. Danny Rolling killed someone. In his mind they deserved it. Any shame he may have felt must have been less than the satisfaction of watching them die. Now shift to one of the victim’s parents in the visitor’s room on death row. Witnessing Danny die, they are going to feel everything Danny felt. ‘Knowing’ he deserves to die, maybe feeling shame that it has to be done, but more so feeling satisfaction that it is being done. All of the emotions are the same. The killing experience travels to one more person. They will have shared in Danny’s experience. To varying degrees, of course, depending on the personalities involved.

If anyone wants to end executions in this country(or any other country) just make it a law that the person who signs the death warrant is guilty of premeditated murder (or maybe manslaughter) if the executed is later proved to be innocent. Many will be convinced by the facts enough to put another’s life on the line, but the same facts will be much less convincing if it puts their life in danger.
One: “Guilty! Kill him!”
Other: ”OK, sign here.”
One: “Uh, ummm.”

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 03:25:50 GMT

"I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm"
Not really true, but I found it funny enough.

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 03:08:59 GMT

I'm not trying to be inflammatory. I posted a blurb about Intelligent Design relating to abortion over at Random Salad. Don't hate me.
http://www.randomsalad.com/board/viewtopic.php?p=2584#2584

Hair cut.

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 20:06:18 GMT

Does anyone else cut their own hair? I am a man who keeps a simple short hair cut. Last January, I quit my job to concentrate on school full time. I decided to save money, I would invest in a hair cutting kit and give it a try. It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't perfect either. I have had improvingly decent hair cuts ever since.
I knew that I could save money if I could do it myself, I also knew I could save some time by not having to drive to my hair cut. I have been surprised by how much of an advantage cutting my own hair has been. First off, a hair cut costs me about $15 with tip, plus about a gallon of gas to get there and back, plus the inconvenience of having to have time in my schedule at a time when the hair cutter place was open and not too busy. Now, my life is so much better. After spending about $19 on a hair grooming kit (battery powered). I can cut my hair as often as I want. I do it about every other Friday night. Wooo-haa! It is pretty easy, I can have it done in less time than it used to take me to drive one way to the barber. Shaving the back of my neck is the hardest part, but patience and practice makes it easier and easier. I can hop right in the shower when done and clean up. Clean up is not too bad.
I have saved a bunch of money in barber charges, as well as saving many gallons of gas, the resulting pollution and traffic was also avoided for my fellow man.
I cut my own hair. I rock. If your hair style allows it, give it a try. Just not right before an important function...

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 03:38:36 GMT

This is a few days late.

This was said at my house in an attempt to end a post-dinner argument about religion...

"Jesus! It's Christmas! Can we not talk about religion?"

LJ Etiquette

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 19:09:46 GMT

So what is LJ etiquette on posting to others LJ (that you don't know)? I just posted to someone's journal, only, I don't know her. I troll the internet looking for comments of interest, then I am inspired to respond. The problem is that I don't want to intrude on others space. I would like to participate and contribute, but only if that is wanted/acceptable. I know LJ is kind of public, but that doesn't mean that someone, or anyone else's journal I my stumble across, wants to hear from me. Someone shouldn't have to make their journal 'friends only' to keep out the riff-raff (Just because someone doesn't lock the doors on their house doesn't mean they want any old stranger to stroll on in).

The flip side is it's kind of strange being so direct as to post a message on someones LJ, asking if it's ok to post a message. How could they know if you have anything of value to say if all you say is "I want to say something, OK?"

I'm going to go search the LJ FAQs.

Death of a pet

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 05:44:20 GMT

I guess I'm mostly over our almost 15 year old dog's death. Took me awhile to get over the dog. Put her down about three months ago. Initially, I had trouble deciding to be with her as she died. That is until I realized what I was deciding. I knew that if she died in my arms, she would take a huge part of me with her, part of me would die too. But once I thought about loving her for 14+ years, taking care of her, then leaving her with strangers, in a strange room, to die alone, I knew I would never do that to her. I would be with her until it was over. I am so glad that I put myself in her shoes (dogs don't really have shoes) before making the decision. It would have destroyed me to realize what she was going through while I am stuck in traffic on the way home.

Oh well, The happy part of me she took with her, she was the one who gave that part of me to me in the first place. So we sat with her and held her/petted her as the vet gave her her injection. That was rough. A chill went through me when he pulled the rubber band off her leg, letting in the full flow. I wasn't cold, the cold passed though me. She shivered and then went limp. Snot came pouring out of her nose. I cried and cried. She was suffering. She put up no fight. She gave up the day of her death. She never stood up that day. Laid there, tried to get up, laid there some more. Carried her to the truck, then into the vet. You know it's time to put them down when the guilt of putting her down is less than the guilt of letting her live. She died around 4:30 PM that day.

While it was bad being with her when she was put down, what was worse, the worst, was going home and emptying her dog food and water dish. That crushed me. I did not expect that. Hit me like a ton of bricks. For her whole life, she depended on my wife and I to keep those dishes full, and we loved doing it. But now, I was turning them upside down. I felt like I was throwing her life away. Walking out in the back yard was pretty bad too. Seeing her day old foot prints in the dirt, I had to fight the urge to somehow grab the footprints out of the dirt and somehow, somehow... no, she was gone. I knew it. But it was so recent. She was still so close. If I could just figure out which way to turn I could reach out and touch her. But, I couldn't figure it out. No way to turn.

It's funny, if you have a pet, and pictures of the pet, it's hard to imagine what it's going to be like when only the pictures remain. Their value increases to infinity, yet it's not enough.

I cried typing this. Don't worry, it was a manly cry.

Life is testing me in little ways.

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 04:25:03 GMT

On both of my first two calculus test I got 98s. My third and last test I study more than ever and get an 82. I choked. I CHOKED. I should sue the school for not attempting the heimlich on me I choked so bad. I get a tainted "A" for the semester.

end of the earth

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 18:31:32 GMT

This is just too good to not post here. By good, i mean, it just came out of me so 'already put together.'

I posted this at
http://www.randomsalad.com/viewtopic.php?t=133&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=
as a response to the 'how will the earth end?' poll.

What do you mean by the end of the earth? The end of the earth has already occurred according to the dinosaurs, yet the earth is still here to end for us.
I assume you mean 'as we know it.'

If the earth ends as we know it due to a global pandemic, one could say that it was a natural end to the earth. I, however, will consider it man induced, due to our preference in curing baldness and impotency as opposed to preventing global pandemics and asteroid collisions.

The list of non-preventable causes for the end of the earth is becoming shorter as technology advances, unfortunately the list of probable ends of the earth is getting longer due to humans inherent dumb-fuckedness. An example of the probable list getting longer is nukes, war, religion, etc. An example of non-preventable causes becoming preventable is collisions with asteroids, global pandemics, etc.

Here's another way to look at the end of the earth. Think of humans as a bioluminescent bacteria and click this link (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0011/earthlights_dmsp_big.jpg)
We appear to be spreading.

I say that the end of the earth is well under way. But I don't think the earth really cares, it will still be here well after we are gone. Its net energy will remain the same, right?

More about language

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 04:28:38 GMT

When we put out two+ year old in 'time out' (his portable crib), he always wants to get out so he can immediately resume doing what it was that got him into trouble in the first place.
Well, when we walk by him, he pleads to get out, we always ask him "Are you going to be good?" or "Are you going to behave?" So he holds his arms up and says "have...have" and "have..good...have" See, he thinks he can be both 'good' ("be good!") and 'have' ("behave!")
It's kind of funny that our two year old has the right idea and we will have to teach him to go against logic and common sense. No wonder people act crazy. Society teaches them to.

Content

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 04:45:23 GMT

I created this LJ just before www.randomsalad.com went online. It is sucking away what little content I have to offer. But now that memojuez has signed on at randomsalad, everyone that is on my LJ frineds list is at RS also, so what's the difference? I know, I'm sure there is one. I don't want to doudle-post my words here as well as at the place that triggered the outpouring, but it seems a waste for my words to be 'out there' but not 'in here'. I'll find a balance. Maybe. Hey Memojuez! Did hurricane season treat you well this year?

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:29:38 GMT

Good hood food? One of those is out of tune,or maybe two of them are. I guess all three could be, really.

Why is it pronounced ‘good food’ and not ‘good food’ or ‘good food’? (try) :)
Shouldn’t good and food have the same sound? Yes.
I think a buddy of mine pointed this out to me back in the late eighties.

It came to mind today as I was folding a too long table cloth to fit my table. Past tense of fold should be feld. “Did you fold the tablecloth?” “Yes, I feld it.” Folded is not right. “Yes I fol-de-dit.” Like I need help sounding stupid. Things like that don’t help. You hold something, you held something. You fold something, you feld something.
“Boy, that dextersdesk, he sure holded his ground during that debate.” It's not right.

All that is wrong in life is really just the accumulation of little things like that. If you have a 'half-full glass', then I guess that's good news. :)

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:03:44 GMT

In an effort to improve my overall health, I've decided that tea is vegetable juice. Coffee? Ditto.

If you take spinach leaves and put them through a juicer, you get vegetable juice right? If you dry the leaves and then steep them in some water, then all of the sudden you have spinach tea? Come on! (Said like Bill O'Rielly would say it.) It's juice! Vegetable juice. So why should tea or coffee be any different? It shouldn't and it's not.

From now on, I am not brewing tea, I am making tea juice from concentrate. Damn right. Sweet tea you say? Well, sugar in water makes sugar juice. Sugar comes from a plant, a byproduct of photosynthesis, just like any other vegetable. Dried sugar is simply vegetable concentrate. Sweet tea is really a wholesome blend of vegetable juices.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 04:10:35 GMT

Anyone here been to www.ratemyprofessor.com?I went there for the first time tonight and read up on some of my old professors. I found that many ratings sound like they came out of my own mouth. I think if you read the ratings that match your ‘personality’ you can probably trust what you read. Example: My former algebra teacher had a heavy Russian accent, but what she wrote on the board was beautifully clear and precise. Don’t ask her to paraphrase though, because she used her entire vocabulary the first time. Slight communication problem, but I loved her. I found many reviews that said the same thing, as well as many comments that mirrored what my other classmates said. “She sucks! Can’t understand her.” (Most of the vocal bad-mouthers were in Algebra for the second time, because their last teacher sucked also, but in some other way. It had nothing to do with them.)

My Calc teacher made me feel really small tonight. OK OK My Calc teacher apparently felt that my line of questions during office hours was not putting his time to good use, and his response was one which conveyed feelings of anger and resentment (hostility, really). It was my choice to then feel small. There was only one other student there. A pre-calc student, I think. This student then asked a question (this occurring right after my chastisement) and was treated to even harsher criticism. The teacher then told us that office hours were in fact over. Damn son! Cut short by 45 minutes! After witnessing his in-class tirades involving other students real/perceived transgressions, I knew that going to his office hours to ask for help was taking a chance, but I took the risk. I won’t do that again.

As a Calc 1 student, how can I be sure if my lack of understanding of a problem stems from the calculus concepts, or a flaw in my application of a more basic mathematics principle? If I knew the answer to that question, I probably wouldn’t have a question, would I? But that is the problem, questions about problems that stem from calculus difficulties are welcomed with open arms, but if it turns out that your problem is a result of faulty application of a trigonometric identity, OOOOOHH shame on you! Why did you ask that!?!?

I accept his antics as tough love, for his tests are fair, as is his grading (so far). He really knows his stuff and holds himself to a very high mathematical standard. This shows in the high level of quality in his assignments and his lectures. The downside of this is that he seems intolerant of students who… well, students. My wife says that my rationalizations are all a bunch of BS because I am too nice. She says that I should report him to some higher authorities. I don’t think so, I’m just going to try harder. I will look past the tone and listen to the message. Leaner, meaner, smarter. Yeah me! OK I might not get leaner, but meaner and smarter are definitely doable.

Dexter

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:51:37 GMT

I think my posts need a little work on their readability. I don't often read posts that are as long as mine. And while I find my writing style occasionally entertaining, the whole 'Dear Diary,' thing leans in the wrong direction. Too serious.
I'll work on it.
Summary: n00bie!

Having said that...

Awkward moment 101b

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 03:21:08 GMT

Not only is this content that I said may not exist, it is content that may lead to a partial understanding of my life. That could shatter the super cool aura that I have created online. I’m a real daredevil. Caution be damned. I am boring, in a very, very interesting way.
Well, I took my kid to the park today. He’s two(ish). Had awkward parental moment number 101b. The retarded children were there. I’m not sure if that’s their clinical diagnosis, and I’m not being condescending, it’s just that these kids were really ‘retarded’. Anyway, one girl who looked about 9 or 10 and acted, well, how she acted, she was somewhat separated from her caretaker and was trying to climb the ladder to reach the overhead rungs so she could do that had-over-hand monkey thing across the rungs. Well, I’m the only adult real close by so she does just what she has been taught to do and asks for help. But it’s like a real cry for help. “Mister! Help me! Please help me!” Like she is drowning or being attacked by alligators or something. But she is only just starting up the ladder, on rung three maybe. So I’m like “No, I can’t help you, I have to watch my boy here. Who are you here with?” Well, she just repeats “Help me! Please help me!!” I’m just like totally on the spot here, other parents semi-nearby maybe looking my way, maybe not. I’m just looking around for the lady in control. Luckily she was noticing the commotion and stated herding another boy over (almost 6 feet tall if you unhunched him). She came over and grabbed the girl around the waist and held/helped her do her thing. I know I did the right thing. I don’t know if she is ‘allowed’ to do that sort of thing. Nor am I authorized to touch this girl. The only way to help her would be to wrap my arm around her waist and semi-carry her across, which would leave my two year old free to run fast and far away. But yet I still felt guilty for not helping the poor little retarded girl who just wanted to play like the other children. Sigh. Truth is, I would have refused that request from any child. I can only pay attention to one child effectively, and if my child is there, that’s the one it’s going to be. But the whole retarded thing tricks my mind into feeling bad because maybe this time I was refusing because I could not deal with this child’s handicap. Oh well.

Dexter

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 03:45:09 GMT

A guy I went to high school with (class of ’88) died last week. Apparent heart attack. Tried to drive himself to hospital/ didn’t think it was necessary to call 911. (Would you think it was a heart attack at 35 years old?) Supposedly ended up off the road and died (from the heart attack, not from the wreck). Probably fairly accurate version of what happened, but third-hand, grieving, word of mouth may not make for 100% accuracy. The first obituary had key facts wrong, and was re-run the next day corrected, so I may not have the facts surrounding the death correct either. The death part is in fact correct. Out of four brothers, he is the second to die. Car accident for the first (decades ago) and heart attack at age 35 for the other. I’m not sure of the wife’s age, early thirties also I guess. I met her a few times (they lived out of state). Their first child has her first birthday at the end of this month. That funeral was the saddest thing I have had to deal with in a long time, if ever. I think having a two year old is why this affected me so much. The service was sad. Family members spoke, I cried. The bit at the cemetery was what was too much. The friends carried the casket from the hearse to the lowering apparatus over the open grave. More words were said, sad some more. But man, let me tell you, when they started lowering his casket down into the earth, you knew it was final. It was over. Totally helpless to change the course of things. Many of the family lined up to each take a turn shoveling sand into the grave. As the young widow and the deceased man’s father put the first shovels of dirt into the grave, it made a soft hollow thumping sound as it hit the wooden casket. A casket is like a hollow wooden musical instrument. Like a guitar or a violin. That sand falling down in clumps onto the top of the casket has a sound I’ll never forget. I can’t quantify its sadness. If you wanted to know, I could only point you in the direction of heartbreak and tell you to keep going. A new mother/young widow and an older man burying a son for the second time. Fuck.

I wasn’t too terribly close to the deceased. Most/all of his life’s best memories probably do not involve me. We went to school together and did some extra-curricular activities, but I was not part of his core circle of friends. I’m pretty sure he signed my year book. But in the years since high school, I kept tabs on him via a mutual good friend and we saw each other at various times over the years. I was always glad to hear about him. He was the first person I knew to get a PhD. A DMA actually, I think. That was cool. I became closer to his younger brother in the years after high school. My wife just loves the younger brother. So do I really. I’m off on this tangent, because when I was informed of his untimely and unexpected death, I wasn’t sure about etiquette. I knew that if the service was open to the public, my wife and I would be there to show the family that they are loved, valued, and respected members of society. The procession to the burial grounds was less obvious. I felt that the younger brother was genuinely glad (not really the right word, but you get it) to see us at the service, so I felt ok with the decision to be part of the procession. I kinda figured that if the deceased could make up a funeral guest-list, it would include the same people who were invited to the wedding, right? Well, we did not go to their wedding, but since the death was so sudden, many people who might have wanted to go to the funeral (who went to their wedding) may not have been able to make travel arrangements on such short notice, and since we wanted to support the family as well as pay our respects to the deceased, my wife and I figured it would be best to participate. After witnessing the sadness at the burial, I said no to the invitation to the man’s parents house. Many of my old high school buddies were obviously going, as they had known him much earlier in life and were closer. I felt that I did not want to risk diluting the intimacy of the grief that was to continue back at the families house. I think I made the right decision. I hope so. Those are nice people. I can only hope that in being sad with them, for them, I can help them bear some of the load. If I was in their place right now, that last statement would almost surely sound insane. How could anyone know their pain? How could my sadness help them with their immeasurable grief?
It's just too bad.

Dexter

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 02:14:18 GMT

I actually have three 'friends' listed now! How unexpectedly exciting. Nice to see you listed Spot. I never see any of your activity since validatethis's existence became so 'almost non-existent'. I got tired of posting to Joey Michaels with no icon, so I said WTF and signed on. When I signed up, I didn't plan on any content as such, but my mood may change. I have more things to do than I have time.

Icon

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 19:04:42 GMT

I started a(n) LJ so I can post to other LJs while having an icon. I've wondered about if it's rude to post on other's LJ without having my own LJ. Now people can report me and/or flame my LJ if I mistakenly offend. I say mistakenly because I never intend to offend, but as we all know, opinions and attempts at humor can sometimes rub people wrong.
I'll work on a more appropriate icon later. This (possibly temporary) icon is of a nut, which I sometimes act like.
I'm learning already. I just leant that LJ's spell check flags 'LJ' as a typo. Hmmm.

My first content.

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 02:15:04 GMT

(sigh)

Is this thing on?

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 02:10:50 GMT

Well? Is it? I'm waiting for my pizza dough to rise. Rock on dough! Rock on!